Despite the fact that I have never actually played D&D and have no specific, concrete plans to do so, I have been playing around for a while now with the idea of a homebrewed character class: Chef.
The Chef is inspired
partly
by the Heroes’ Feast (which I was, of course, made aware of by watching Critical Role) and partly by the fact that the Bard is a thing. Much as the Bard makes magic through music, the Chef’s food serves as potions. One friend summed it up as “like an alchemist, but more delicious.”
Cookies or brownies would probably grant Inspiration and/or Diplomacy bonuses (not even magical; this is literally how I make friends IRL). Caffeinated beverages would grant either a movement bonus or resistance to sleep, a banana-oatmeal smoothie would grant resistance to acid, etc.
Interestingly, this results in the whole “preparing spells for the day” thing making rather more sense than it does for the other magical classes, since the food must literally be prepared and (depending on the food) it can’t keep for all that long.
In combat, of course, the Chef would be skilled with knives (although, alternatively, they could also swing a mean skillet). At higher levels, they might also gain some elemental (especially thermal) magics. All combat skills would have names like Julienne or Flambée. (A spell to steal the breath from an enemy called Sous-Vide would be fun.) The Chef’s Favored Enemy would be the Rust Monster: ”I just got that pan properly seasoned!”
That, of course, brings us to the jokes:
It has been suggested that there should be a chef based on Guy Fieri, likely either a dwarf or a half-orc.
You cannot tell me Emeril is not an elvish name. Emeril Legolasse.
Chefs of a religious bent would most likely be followers of Alton, god of good eats.
A halfling Chef (obviously a good combination) whose Mysterious Backstory turns out to be that she is secretly a noblewoman who ran away from home because of Reasons. A perfectly solid basis for a character with lots of dramatic potential, but once it’s revealed, it becomes a game of seeing how long it takes your tablemates to catch on that you’re playing the Barefoot Contessa.
I wanna see the Grand Tourney of Kitchen Stadium for the amusement of Lord Kaga.
YES GOOD PERFECT
this is just. so great in so many ways, but also:
the best possible use of the term “homebrewed.”
*cackle* That was not even intentional!
I feel like the Chef class ought to have healing capabilities, along with all of the above. I mean, even in real life chicken soup is basically a healing potion, right?
Wolf in Shepherd's Clothing 